Revelation at Sinai

13 days ago I embarked on a journey to Sinai Retreats, a Jewish campsite in the Adirondack Mountains of northern NY. I left with relatively little expectation, and I figured that any time in the country and away from the chaos and madness of NYC would be very welcome. But I never could have anticipated the tremendous sense of awe and wonder that made every moment of my time in Warrensburg, NY magical.

In 1993, I had surgery for a brain tumor, and the anger I felt afterwards I directed at G-d and my parents’ religion of Judaism. However, last year (2007) I finally truly and wholly accepted my past, and with that acceptance came the ability to move on physically and spiritually. I felt that I had to fill an emptiness within me, and I sought out spirituality to help me. After searching many religions and spiritual teachings, I turned my attention to Judaism.

Amidst the majestic Adirondack peaks, surrounded by tranquil natural beauty, I dove headfirst into the vague marvels and a spectacular creativity of a religion that I never knew existed. Through expert teachings from a cadre of inspirational Rabbis, to socializing with our tutors who were kind enough to share some of their summer vacations with a bunch of baal tshuvahs, to watching the day-to-day interactions of observant Jews, gave me such a rich perspective that I now know I was lacking.

Sinai Retreats provided me with insights into the Torah, enriched my understanding of the traditions, presented me with a practical knowledge of prayer, and has compelled me to further learn and practice Judaism. Much like the biblical revelation on Sinai, Sinai Retreats bestowed upon me a breathtaking and awe-inspiring view of the meaning of existence and the miracle it is to be a Jew.

Dreams in Big Sky Country

I know its hard to believe, but the sky really seems bigger in Montana than anywhere else. I just returned from a 5-day sojourn at Camp Mak-A-Dream in Gold Creek, Montana. I went for the first ever Young Survivor's Conference, which was presented by the Children's Brain Tumor Foundation. I had a brain tumor when I was 13, and in MT I was surrounded by others who survived a brain tumor. Having a brain tumor is one experience that cannot be easily put into words, and being part of a community that understood that experience was a surreal and magnificent occurrence. It bordered on the miraculous how at-peace and comfortable everyone was, and the dialogs that ensued were ripe with authentic feeling and honesty. Everyone involved made this such a wonderful experience that will always remain in my heart.

The Wild Montana Skies were an excellent backdrop to this spectacular retreat. I arose each day to meditate to the awakening of the earth, followed that with a hike in the crisp morning air, and then partook in a day complete with information and a good share of fun. The night sky was so chock full of stars that I would be brought to stillness, mesmerized by the glory of nature. Sad to leave, but grateful to attend, we made our way from the Northern Midwest to the bright lights of New York. I must thank Stacia Wagner for both creating this amazing event, as well as putting into words that which we were all thinking: "The moment we left Montana, I began to feel anxiety and chaos creep back into my psyche."